Sexuality and grief – El Sol de México

My favorite books were left under the rubble. The ones I had just started reading. “Complex Children” by Elaine Taylor-Klaus and “The Child Brain” by Rita Reig. Who would have imagined that that Friday, January 22, 2023, at 7:05 PM, there would be an explosion due to gas accumulation in the house next to mine?

Who would have imagined that the very room where all my belongings were would collapse? And even more. A room where Normally I was with my children. Just that night, at that precise time, we were not in that room. We were in the dining room, ready to have a snack, when We felt the roar, we heard the screams, we saw the glass thunder..

With everything I have learned, in recent years, about psychology, emotional management and healthy relationships that gave life to this column, living an experience so close to death pushes me to write these lines.

As a child sex educator, during my training, I had to take a course on grief management.

What does grief have to do with sexuality? I was wondering at that moment, how surely you, who are now reading, are sharing the same concern.

In summary. Sexuality is life. From the moment of pregnancy until we die, sexuality is present in this journey we call living. Death itself is part of that system we call “sexuality.”.

The foundations of that sexuality go beyond eroticism and pleasure. The three other pillars on which it stands are our gender, our emotional relationships and our reproductivity or what we take care of.

I will dwell on these last two that are closely linked to our house, our home. In fact, As I write these lines, work is being done to shore up a wall that supports my house.. My physical house. My brick house that was damaged by the explosion of the adjacent building.

In this house I live with my children, with whom I have built, in these 10 years, one of the main emotional ties that make up my life. Here, my mother and my brothers have entered, they are the first people with whom we learn to have healthy relationships.

This house is part of what I take care of, so it is also part of my reproductivity. Right now take care that it does not fall and that it is held It’s a lot of what I have to do so that the physical house, the brick one, is good, but also so that the emotional house recovers from the impact. That house that lives inside me and that we call home, because a stable home is what allows you to have healthy relationships.

The ruins of the explosion

After the explosion we left the home. I was grateful that my children were well. I was grateful to be alive. A couple of hours later, I entered rescue my 6 cats. And then I saw the rocks on so many memories that came to me at once, but do not Cry.

I cried when Already being outside the house I was able to give the first hug. The bricks do not support us, they are our emotional ties.

Of the property damaged by the explosion, unfortunately, an elderly person died. Her gender, a woman.

The civil engineers, the experts, will take care of the ruins, the stones. For post-traumatic stress, you will have to go to therapy and accommodate those foundations that build us as people.

In this space we have always made reference to the fact that healthy sexuality must be addressed from the perspective of human rights. That is why we write about healthy relationships to insist that there life is born free of violence which is another right that people have.

These are fundamental rights, those that allow people to fully develop. Like the right to health, education and decent housing. That is why I write about sexuality from a human rights perspective.

Let’s remember that pleasure is more than sex. Pleasure is also enjoying a hot meal with those we love most. Sexuality is more than eroticism. It goes further. It involves having someone to call when we are sad or happy. It is also about feeling complete with those we care for. It is feeling satisfied with ourselves when we look in the mirror.

Ends 2023. Welcome to 2024because that means healing grief and beginning the personal repair that we need to do to be able to live fully. The new year is the opportunity to rebuild what exploded.

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